Hand in hand with understanding is the offering of respect. Respect gets a bad rap sometimes because it feels like you are taking the subservient role instead of getting your point across. It is undoubtedly hard to give respect when you don’t feel you are getting it. This is true. Go back to the idea of who you are though. Are you a person who treats everyone at their level or are you bigger and better than that? This is about you acting in reflection to who you really are and want to be. Acting respectfully with your friends is a given, respectfully with your boyfriends-no doubt, and respectfully with your parents-well it’s worth a shot. Try these simple acts of respect and see what a difference they make!
Listen completely before interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Listening doesn’t mean you have to agree but it does mean you have to take turns. You also may be setting the example of how this new relationship works.
No one likes a drama queen so admit when you are wrong or overreact. It builds on their trust that you have the ability to be rational.
Finally, regularly and consistently remember simple manners matter. Say your pleases and thank yous, it reminds them what a nice pleasant person you are.
Nothing Shows Respect Better than the Willingness to Communicate:
One of the crazy making things that especially moms are known to say is “You just don’t talk to me anymore. I just want to know what is going on with you.” It is one of those statements that sometimes make us cringe and sometimes make us lash out. After all, if we could sit down and explain our thoughts and fears, our hopes and dreams, then we would be perfectly on top of our game and well, who is? Our worlds are often times so full and so chaotic that we wish someone could sit us down to explain what was happening and offer some direction. The good news is that it doesn’t take much to make parents happy. Taking a couple of minutes to talk about the small stuff everyday keeps a strong connection. That strong connection keeps your parents’ fears and grief levels down to remember that they are not actually losing you and therefore they are less likely to react from that emotional place when you ask to extend a curfew or have a mini adventure. It is a win-win for you both so totally worth the effort. It also does you a favor by allowing you to have them filled in on the whos and the whats of things in case you have a meltdown and need that supportive shoulder to cry on.